Where do I begin?

Image - Victoria Topping

by Contributor

In early 2009 I fell pregnant for a third time. I'd been with my abusive husband for 12 years and though I love my first two dearly this third pregnancy made me realise I didn't want my husband and his controlling ways anymore.

Had to get out and this new baby was a scary development. Sadly I miscarried and my husband blamed me - said my negativity caused the loss.

It was then that I relished that I no longer loved him, he was cruel, heartless, mean and needy all in one.

Dealbreaker

In August of 2009 I left him. I took my kids, took legal advice and left. I went to stay with my mum. It was cramped but we were free. My now ex-husband made my life hell. He talked about me badly to the kids and he tried to rubbish me to everyone we had as common friends. I don't know how I got through it.

When all of this drama began to settle and my kids were happier an old friend popped up. I'd known this guy since my teens on and off and we had unfinished business romantically. We had a doomed and heartbreaking relationship. He was clingy like the ex-hubby and nearly broke me when I was still fragile (he was a Scorpio like the ex-hubby which still freaks me out). I walked away from him, it was hard.

Aside from all this. Now in July of 2012 I have finally set up a proper home for me and my lovely kids. I have a part-time job (I've gone for a promotion this week, wish me luck people!) and I feel happy in my own skin.

Still on the Rollercoaster

I know the ride isn't over but I feel lighter already! During the last few years I've divorced my husband, set up home independently for my kids and myself. I've walked away from 2 bad relationships I'd been carrying around for way too long. I've suffered with anxiety and extreme unhealthy weight loss.

It's been crazy and I just want to sleep!