Letting Go

Image by Society 6

By Annie from Perth, WA

 I'm 28 and I've just come to the realisation over the past mammoth few weeks, that yep... my Saturn Return in Scorpio has come, and it is demanding quite a grand welcoming.

Its been grotesque in all its glory. At first I didn't cotton on to what was happening to me. I was feeling tremendous amounts of torment and guilt from past mistakes I made. I thought I was feeling this way because I couldn't bare to live with the guilt and shame, so instead I offered up my honesty of past mistakes to the person I love the most and that just created a new world of pain, torment and guilt that came flooding my way.

Oh Wise Ones

After a couple of days of self-torture and not being able to eat, sleep and pretty much walk or talk I seeked counsel with my mum who is very spiritually aligned along with my older sister who has become somewhat of a life coach in my transition into adulthood and love. What they told me, was exactly what I needed to hear. In hindsight I wish I had gone to them sooner, but I was living in my own torment and fear that I would be judged and put straight back in my guilt box, which couldn't be further from the truth.

And what they resonated to me was pure love and compassion. They told me I needed to take control of my own council, let go and forgive, love myself and caaaalm down, breath and live in love(*sigh).

Now, this is super easy to say as it rolls off the tongue, actually putting it into practice in your daily Saturn Return emotional overload is another thing. But I tell you what, I now have these wise words, thoughts and conversations embedded in my mind to go back and revisit and ponder when I can feel my heart start to thud heavy and fast. I also can recognise that all these feelings I have been feeling, has everything to do with my Saturn Return knocking at my door and I gotta let it in.

Be Open to Receive

I strongly suggest that if you feel like you are doing this alone, you're not. And when you read blogs, or articles where spiritual heads call on you to seek support, like-minded friends and family, DO IT!!! because they are the ones that know you, understand you and most of all LOVE you and want the very best for you, which is what the little person inside of you wants for you.

I have never experienced such extreme feelings of what I can only describe as huge anxiety waves come crashing upon me at different times of the day.

It's hard to describe in words, it's just a sheer guttural crushing that goes on within your mind, body and soul, which is the body's way of telling you "HELLO, realign yourself and deal and digest these thoughts please!"

The inherent questions that you read and hear about happening, actually happen to you, like "Who am I? What's my purpose? What kind of career do I want?" and the list goes on.

I feel like I'm in the peak of it, but I can feel myself growing and climbing out of it, as I've just become a vessel for spiritual information to help me transform and open up for rebirth.

Now, these are all big, hippy words but I unconditionally love and stand by every single syllable, for they put meaning into what us Saturn Return riders are enduring.

It puts perspective on what you're going through, switches the lightbulb on and hands you a bag of tools to deal, manage and most importantly GROW from these empowering life lessons and rebirthing.

Be Still and Listen to the Universe

I've been watching so many motivational talks on the internet the past week or so, and they all seem to speak and resonate to me in a way that I never thought I could have connected so deeply to.

And I firmly believe that when you're ready to listen, the universe will flood you with all sorts of awesome material to wrap your beautiful hands around and gobble right up.

But I know I have a way to go yet, I've definitely managed to transition myself into a clearer understanding of myself, my lessons and found a nurturing love that I need to practice doing everyday to unconditionally love myself. It's the breathing I am still working on and haven't mastered yet.

Saturn Sign: Saturn Return in Scorpio
Birthday: 7 December 1984